Written by Josephine Hickman Finlayson, 10 Aug 1933 Provo, Utah

My Father had his endowments 22 Apr 1857 but was married by law of land. After all of his 13 children were born, he took his family to Logan, had his wife and children sealed to him.

It was then my mother had her first endowments 1884. Even at that date it seems I had some urge to the great importance of it, and coaxed my father to try and have these ordinances attended to, and helped him plan to go.

In those early times when distance was days in comparison to the few hours now and poverty stalked abroad, many desired blessings were delayed; families, children increased and to provide for them was the watch word of the hour.

To you, who shall read this, let no censure pass your lips—for you can not understand and if I told you, you could not think in terms to realize how different then than now.

My father loved his family. My mother was always honored as a lady of high degree by him—I never heard him speak a cross word to her in my life. In all the trials that came to them, I cannot see why sometimes he would not have spoken cross, because he was quick tempered, but had good control over [it]. He was a true gentleman. My mother, how I love her memory, sometimes would find a breaking point and scold—how can she help it with all she had to endure. I know she will pass by the angels and enter into joys untold because of her devotion to husband and family, to the needy friends and stranger and her God in whom she had implicit trust and faith. I humbly pray I may be worthy to go where they go—and even now they may be looking for me to hurry and finish my work—Father help me to finish.

You will understand, Father, you know my heart, my feelings, my sins, mission and commission, my desires and my love for thy work, my faith in thee and thy son, Jesus Christ. My sacrifices and love for my children. Father they will never know how my heart aches for their love. But Father they don’t understand how lonely I am.

Fifty-one years ago today I was married (Aug 10 1882) nearly four years my husband has been gone—gone.

How alone I am, in the midst of my children, I am alone—they have companions, they are kind and good. But father I am alone—alone.